“Are you taking calls?” When the phone rang, I naturally assumed the call was for his wife since virtually every call was for her. Not at first recognizing the name on the phone’s display, he said “Carlisle Hertz. Does that ring a bell?” A half a breath later he said, “Wait a minute, that’s for me.” That was indeed a surprise for a number of reasons. In addition to the fact it was for me, Carl could barely communicate because of a severe hearing impairment and could barely see the buttons on the phone. Thoughts of the call being from Bessie with some very bad news about Carl ran through my head as I picked up the phone and said “Hello?”
Carl was an elderly man past the midpoint of his 80’s. He was an unusual combination of strong ability and disability. His slight but quick shuffle may have been a physical problem or it may have been a product of being legally blind and only able to make out general forms unless he was very close. He seemed strong and reasonably trim. Practically deaf, he had a powerful hearing aid that sometimes worked if he remembered to change the batteries. His voice came through clearly over the phone as he said “Hello ... I bet you don’t know who this is.” While it had been several months, I would have recognized the voice even if there hadn’t been caller ID.
Carl began to explain he was traveling back to Wisconsin and wanted to give the jail ministry some large print Old Testament Bibles and some reading glasses before he left the area. Bessie, his sons and the jail ministry had been the loves of his life the past few years. Only a few months ago he had to give up the ministry because of his hearing and eyesight. The inmates had to read the Bible for him and he could rarely understand what the inmates were saying. As the conversation continued.
He took a breath and said, “Bessie and I are getting a divorce.”
He took a breath and said, “Bessie and I are getting a divorce.”
Carl could have said the sky had turned green over his house or a hundred things violating the laws of physics and nature that would have been more believable than his last statement. Bonnie was indeed a “live wire.” Even in her early eighties her flamboyant personality came through. Her bright hats merely amplified her cheerful, smiling personality. All of the volunteer preachers that were part of the jail ministry admired her spirit and the love she had for Carl. She faithfully brought him every week to the old county jail and once that closed down, to the new jail. We usually took him to his home church of Hunt Park Baptist. Sometimes Bessie would wait in the parking lot for the one to two hours that he was having services for the inmates.
Carl enjoyed telling the story of how they met and got married. Carl had met Bessie at a church a few months after the death of his first wife. His first marriage had lasted 45 years. Bessie had lost her first husband after over 40 years of marriage.
Carl enjoyed telling the story of how they met and got married. Carl had met Bessie at a church a few months after the death of his first wife. His first marriage had lasted 45 years. Bessie had lost her first husband after over 40 years of marriage.
“At my age I never thought this was possible. “ Carl said with deep sorrow.
He explained his Bessie no longer wanted to take care of him anymore. Unknown to him she had made the divorce arrangements and booked one way travel arrangements for him back to his children in Wisconsin. She presented the papers and the travel plans less than a week before he was to fly out. Carl was brokenhearted, ashamed and confused to be divorced. It was something he couldn't do.
Things made no sense to me but I took down the address. I was thankful to have found the missing GPS the day before after having been missing for 6 months. The trip to Carl and Bessie's house was rushed but uneventful. The house was difficult to locate even with GPS until the right on top of it. Once there the house was obvious as it reflected the brightness of Bessie's personality. Pulling into the yard of the colorfully adorned house, there was Bessie sitting in the yard with a younger woman. If a person could gauge a conversation by appearance, you'd assume the conversation was that of concerned sadness. I identified myself at a distance as I headed for the house and said I was there to pickup some material for the jail ministry. She said Carl was inside but Bessie followed me in at a bit of a distance as she was able. Carl had the Bible books and the glasses ready at the door.Inside, there was some brief discussion of the upcoming trip and the chance to see his sons and grandchildren. Bessie came inside to check and make sure Carl was okay and that the pickup was okay. As Bessie came inside, I could see what Carl could not. Bessie's skin had the marks and bandages of the work of a dermatologist. The marks were deep.
At last I understood and everything made sense. Bessie wanted Carl home at a place where he could be cared for before her passing. Wisdom is suppose to come with age. On the drive home there were many thoughts and internal arguments trying to decide if this were the best way for Carl and Bessie.
He explained his Bessie no longer wanted to take care of him anymore. Unknown to him she had made the divorce arrangements and booked one way travel arrangements for him back to his children in Wisconsin. She presented the papers and the travel plans less than a week before he was to fly out. Carl was brokenhearted, ashamed and confused to be divorced. It was something he couldn't do.
Things made no sense to me but I took down the address. I was thankful to have found the missing GPS the day before after having been missing for 6 months. The trip to Carl and Bessie's house was rushed but uneventful. The house was difficult to locate even with GPS until the right on top of it. Once there the house was obvious as it reflected the brightness of Bessie's personality. Pulling into the yard of the colorfully adorned house, there was Bessie sitting in the yard with a younger woman. If a person could gauge a conversation by appearance, you'd assume the conversation was that of concerned sadness. I identified myself at a distance as I headed for the house and said I was there to pickup some material for the jail ministry. She said Carl was inside but Bessie followed me in at a bit of a distance as she was able. Carl had the Bible books and the glasses ready at the door.Inside, there was some brief discussion of the upcoming trip and the chance to see his sons and grandchildren. Bessie came inside to check and make sure Carl was okay and that the pickup was okay. As Bessie came inside, I could see what Carl could not. Bessie's skin had the marks and bandages of the work of a dermatologist. The marks were deep.
At last I understood and everything made sense. Bessie wanted Carl home at a place where he could be cared for before her passing. Wisdom is suppose to come with age. On the drive home there were many thoughts and internal arguments trying to decide if this were the best way for Carl and Bessie.
